Once Upon a time..............

B
efore there were Official Names, and Institutions for such people; “Foolish Folk” would be apprenticed out the various trades to learn how to be useful in society.
    One such young “Foolish Feller” was assigned to the local Blacksmith; who took him under his tutelage, and proceeded to teach him how to pound hot iron.
    The Blacksmith handed the feller a short, heavy hammer, and instructed him on where to stand, relative to the anvil.
    His next turn of phrase was very telling.
    “I am going to use a pair of tongs to bring a hot horseshoe out of the fire and place it on the anvil. When I nod my head, you hit it with the hammer.” 
    The young feller did exactly as he was told, and today, he is the Village Blacksmith.

                (next, Bomb Disposal by correspondence..)
 

How co-workers speak to each other, and how managers speak to each other and their employees, has a lot to do with how employees behave, and how people generally feel at work.
   
These "feelings" are important, as they tend to create distraction which takes away from concentration on the real work which needs to be done. 
    Below is a humorous look at what may be a real Human Resources Department memo. Take it for what it's worth, and remember there may be more than one way to state your feelings.


From: Human Resources
To: The Supervisors 

    Dear Supervisors:

        It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
    throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
    of normal conversation with their coworkers.
        Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily
    offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated. We do
    however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately
    express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.   
        Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that
    proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
    manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

    TRY SAYING:
    Perhaps I can work late.
    INSTEAD OF:
    And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

    TRY SAYING:
    I'm certain that isn't feasible.
    INSTEAD OF:
    No fucking way.

    TRY SAYING:
    Really?
    INSTEAD OF:
    You've got to be shitting me!

    TRY SAYING:
    Perhaps you should check with...
    INSTEAD OF:
    Tell someone who gives a shit.

    TRY SAYING:
    I wasn't involved in the project.
    INSTEAD OF:
    It's not my fucking problem.

    TRY SAYING:
    That's interesting.
    INSTEAD OF:
    What the fuck?

    TRY SAYING:
    I'm not sure this can be implemented.
    INSTEAD OF:
    This shit won't work.

    TRY SAYING:
    I'll try to schedule that.
    INSTEAD OF:
    Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

    TRY SAYING:
    He's not familiar with the issues.
    INSTEAD OF:
    He's got his head up his ass.

    TRY SAYING:
    Excuse me, sir?
    INSTEAD OF:
    Eat shit and die.

    TRY SAYING:
    So you weren't happy with it?
    INSTEAD OF:
    Kiss my ass.

    TRY SAYING:
    I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
    INSTEAD OF:
    Fuck it, I'm on salary.

    TRY SAYING:
    I don't think you understand.
    INSTEAD OF:
    Shove it up your ass.

    TRY SAYING:
    I love a challenge.
    INSTEAD OF:
    This job sucks.

    TRY SAYING:
    You want me to take care of that?
    INSTEAD OF:
    Who the hell died and made you boss?

    TRY SAYING:
    I see.
    INSTEAD OF:
    Blow me.

    TRY SAYING:
    He's somewhat insensitive.
    INSTEAD OF:
    He's a prick.

    TRY SAYING:
    She's an aggressive go-getter.
    INSTEAD OF:
    She's a ball-busting bitch.

    TRY SAYING:
    I think you could use more training.
    INSTEAD OF:
    You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

    Thank You,
    Human Resources


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